A feeling of numbness has washed over me and I'm not exactly sure how to feel about it. Feelings of guilt of course because I ask "why the hell do I feel numb"?
Other than that I don't know how to take this newfound feeling. Perhaps I'm filling my days up with too many tasks that I am losing touch of my beautiful Alex.
I have also recognized that Tomes and I never seem to be on the same page with our grief. I'm either on the deep end and he's stable for a moment or vice versa. Last night we watched a movie of an emotional moment between parents where they embraced one another for support. Tomes brought up that even when you receive that embrace and support from your spouse, or whomever, it fails to make you feel less empty. I agreed.
There is no way out of the hell and the various and unpredictable emotions we endure. There are days we wonder if people, sometimes even family, understand the gravity of what we lost. While we paint a face of stability for the outside world, the moment, and I mean moment, we clock out of that, we are sad and empty inviduals.
In regards to my numbness, I wonder if my body, mind and soul has just given up on all emotion. It's too much, so I am now numb. Which, doesn't feel at all to be an improvement.
So can grief make you feel numb? Or is this something else that I'm experiencing?