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Anger and Pain is my never-ending story

So much anger, so much pain. I have found myself as an empty shell today barely functioning.

My body and my soul has been triggered from doing Alex's Story work. Nobody sees how difficult it is, just how nearly impossible it is to do videos of my son, videos of our family once whole, once intact, but now, forever shattered.

It's like I'm intentionally setting myself up for pain when I do these damn social media ads. One part of me logically knows I must utilize them as it is the best way to raise awareness but damn. The other part of me battles and struggles with the ignorance of humanity. Comments one after another saying my son deserved to die because of his choices.

What am I even doing anymore and why is it me that feels so alone doing it? Why can't I just let go and focus on grieving in private.

I'm just so tired of the pain.

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The pain never resides....that's all I have to "blog" about. The pain is, just, too deep.


I now live in the past. I am starting to realize just how much that is true and wonder if other parents who've lost their children live in the past as well. Everyday I have a new routine of checking F


Jessica Orella
Jessica Orella
Aug 21, 2023

Love you. Your doing amazing things. Try not to let some degenerate deter you. You can't fix degenerate people.


You have to trust that someone is going to be saved through the work you are doing. It makes sense that this work is painful. It makes sense to me. Everyone’s life goes on but yours stopped when Alex passed away. You have to take care of you too. Your heart has been ripped apart. Unfortunately, there is no easy fix for healing if it will every be fixed. Best not to read the comments in social media and believe that Alex’s death will save lives. Hang in there.

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