Where is this strength everyone keeps talking about?
We made big movement today in the creation of Alex's Foundation. Created his website, Facebook page and tomorrow, I will be filing for the 503 something IRS form for tax exempt status. Almost there. Website still has some finishing touches that it needs, but we are moving at such fast speed that it is literally pulling me along.
By the way, I should mention, this blog will be directly from Alex's mom, Tami Garcia. I intend to use this platform a few different ways. To provide updates on Alex's foundation, all the new things that we will be doing, success stories, my experiences and meetings with other victims, etc.. But, I am also going to use it as almost like a not so personal diary of the hell I am going through every day. Today I think I will just quickly mention the word "strength". People keep telling me how strong I am because I am creating a foundation not even two months after my son being murdered (yep, murdered, I said that and I will explain in future blogs WHY I feel that way as I am certain most mom's with similar stories feel). Anyhow, people only see 1 side of me. They didn't see me breakdown and yell at my insurance carrier in the middle of Safeway yesterday (perhaps some of you did). They haven't seen me run out of my daughter's volleyball game crying and needing to regroup today nor did they witness how me having a complete breakdown driving today with an anxiety attack only to be comforted by my 11 year old daughter, leaving me to feel even more guilt as a mom.
This doesn't feel like "strength". I have never felt so weak and fragile in my entire life. Fentanyl and the dealers associated has ravaged our lives. The one thing that makes me feel some sort of peace is Alex's foundation.
So, I suppose call it whatever you like. But if you follow this blog, just know I am going to be very honest as this is a platform where full transparency and accountability matter. I think you will all be completely shocked once I share some details that only our close friends and family know. To make some real change, we have to be uncomfortable and honest about how we are failing to protect our kids.
Until next time...